Balancing life with more coffee please.
The old balancing coffee act
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Category Archives: code mush
Stormy Birdo and the Mountains
I haven’t had the inspiration to write lately, just been quite stuck in my stupid thoughts. So I’ll just show you the couple of doodles I did this week. I’m sure you’ve seen the news about the hurricane that hit Texas. We were impacted by it, but luckily not as severe as some. It was an interesting week! Here is a birdo blowing away!
And a half finished, I guess, doodle of some mountains. I have been wanting to take a trip out to Big Bend. I haven’t been since I was a kid. I want to know what fascinated my dad about the place, as I only remember mere glimpses of the mountains. I do love them so! And we were very close to Big Bend a couple of years ago in the Davis mountains. So yeah, the mountains be calling me!!
And my ancestors roamed the areas. Have you heard of the Comanche springs? And the Comanche war trails? Some intersect through that area. I guess also a part of my soul, if our ancestors can somehow live inside us, a tiny fleck in our soul longs to be there again. As if maybe I somehow, one way or another, have lived there before…when I think about longing, that’s what I think. Some part of my soul dwells there in another life, or my ancestors still call out to me. Maybe that’s why my Dad loved the place too. It called out to him. Sometimes we’re unaware of what longing is, or what’s calling out to us. Fear sets in. Doubts. Sometimes longing leads to dead ends, heart breaks, trouble, but we wind up learning something. That is also longing. Longing to grow and learn about ourselves. So you must trust that nothing and everything will go right/wrong. It’s up to you to understand it I guess. I told you my mind is somewhere deep in the recesses of turmoil and struggle. Maybe just a good night’s sleep and a good walk in nature perhaps. Or some more doodles. Get your head out of the clouds!
Music for the Birdos
What would birds listen to if not their neighbor’s own song, or their love’s own song? Even their own song? I don’t know why I drew headphones on him. Just curious about the songs that move people, the songs that even move weirdo Birdos.
What moves you to sing and even dance? I have a whole playlist of 6+ hours of songs that I listen to while in the kitchen, which I made a few years ago and realized it was my music sanctuary. Not just in the kitchen but just dealing with my life back then. Here I am though. Still self discovering.
Here it is! If you care to know what this birdo listens to:
Take Flight
Shrouded in Doubt
Or existential dread.
I think if you have one you have the other.
But what if he’s just suffering from a stomach ache? Head ache? Or he’s just out in the rain wondering about life? There is doubt in what he’s actually even doing. So he’s shrouded in doubt and we’re in doubt to what is actually going on. And what’s inside this man’s head. We’re even starting to contemplate the meaning of his own existence too. Hell, even our own existence is quite as meaningless as this doodle head.
So who really has the existential dread here? He might be pondering what’s that over yonder? Now I’m wondering what’s he looking at if he’s not deep in thought?
Oh we’re in a spiral of wondering …best stop. I think he’s out in the rain and is cold and looking up at what I just wrote and telling me stop worrying about it, it’s meaningless. All of this meaninglessness!
It’s the dread.
Half Head Speaks…AAAH
It’s an unusual half head, not like the other half heads but, we can say that none are alike at all. They all are emerging in their own way, at their own pace and with their own unique voice. This one just happens to be emerging chaotically, maybe it’s a little terrifyin’. I mean it is sometimes.
Half Head Holding Caffeinated Sustenance
Slowly but surely I will rise, be able to speak but as it is I am a half head and lack the voice. The voice it isn’t there, must, need to find it authentically!
Coffee do your thang. A jittered jumble of jabbered words perhaps, well it’s a start. Finding authentic voice through mumbled mush. Morsh.
Goodnight.
CM
Half Heads, Now the Other Half?
I am referring to this doodle
I’ve been doodling a lot of half heads lately. The theme after brains? Half heads! and now…the other half. You won’t see much of the other half but here’s one. Here’s to Half Heads and feeling like half a person or hiding half yourself. Yeah, that’s more like it.
CM
Bloggin’ Floggin’, Rootin’ and Tootin’
I cannot take credit for this image I drew but click on the link and learn about Daniel Johnston! It’s been widely used by other artists, musicians and for mental health awareness. I drew this and made copies that I wanted to post around work because it is a stressful time of year for retail workers. And just stressful in general. I think we’re all feeling a little down, unlike ourselves. I feel a current, a shift of change coming for everyone. I don’t know what it is, maybe just the seasons. But yesterday morning I felt compelled to draw this simple, yet tender note. And hope you are all doing okay.
How are you?
I guess I’m just going to keep blogging and flogging words and doodles around. Rootin’ and Tootin’ my own voice.
-CM
Mushy Halloween
You can’t go wrong with the traditional at Halloween. The jack o lanterns, the ghosts, the goblins, the Frankensteins. I mean that’s what holidays are for, the traditional. To make us feel that sweet sense of nostalgia. To make us feel like a kid again. So I’m not the least bit ashamed at my dorky drawings. The fact that Frankenstein’s mask looks like a gorilla Frankenstein. But whatever. I’ve always drawn shitty and I still keep doing it anyway. I mean mushy… I always think squashed up shit. I mean for an attractive woman it would be cute ‘n quirky, but for someone like me, it’s like shit ass weirdo. Like dirt bag weird, not cutesy weird that people find cool. Ugh let me tell you the most embarrassing story that should have made me quit art for good.
I was volunteering at the fall fest at our high school, I myself a high school student at the time. And for whatever reason, or that I just wasn’t good at all at painting on faces, I just couldn’t remember how to draw. Or to even spell for that matter. My ghosts look like floating white blobs on a face, the butterflies…I’m pretty sure made a girl cry. But the worst, the WORST was a boy wanted me to write 2 PAC on his face. And I wrote 2 PAK. 2PAK. I realized after that I spelled it wrong and didn’t want to show the boy his face paint. But that kid walked around the fall fest with 2 PAK on his face the whole night. He probably got his face laughed at all night. I remember it to this day. And sometimes at night when I can’t sleep I think about that and crack up but also wonder why the hell I still draw. I’ve done a lot of dumb shit, misslepelled things. I did that one on purpose. But events words I’ve gotten the meaning wrong. So I’m a mushy dumb weirdo. But don’t stop! Don’t quit!
I guess. All you spooky weirdos have a good Halloween!
Code Mush 