It’s New Year’s Eve and here is weirdo birdo getting ready to celebrate!
Aaaaaahnhh, Happy New Year!
2025 Weirdo Birdo
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Monthly Archives: December 2024
Puddles in Twilight
Just my usual wanderings around with my camera! There were some very strong storms today that lasted a few hours, and around evening time the skies began to clear and I felt myself stirring. I was in my usual gloom and doom mood, so I got myself out on a walk which usually helps. And I saw a crane! (of course he was moving too fast for me to capture it) and I forgot, this is the crane life! I was supposed to embody the crane this year. Crane Power! Perhaps I did, but was expecting results, like something great to happen. But I guess in small bursts. I think something did change though. But it’s usually the kinds of changes that one cannot describe. Maybe they are reflected in these puddles.
Good Morning, coffee
Floating in the clouds, this coffee is. To wake you up slowly on a chilly Saturday morn.
As I sat silently watching the sun rise, I noticed just how precious and fleeting life is. I wondered why I worry about anything. In a few months, in a year from now, all the things that bothered me will have been washed away in memories. And I’ll laugh or smile and see I was just growing a little bit more each day. To reach the Pinnacle of wisdom that usually transpires when you grow.
Evening Coffee
Tiny doodle drawings in your journal.
Sipping coffee in the evening, what will happen? A panic attack in the middle of the night? Sounds like it!
I drink coffee at night a lot since I work one night shift a week. It’s a weird middle of the week night shift that my body has grown accustomed to. It’s a night where panic ensues, constantly, a race against time. And as I get older I hear more of my bones creaking and moaning more as I race against the clock. I slipped on a blueberry last year and my knee has never been the same. I fear the doctor to tell me it’s nerve or permanent damage…I can’t be having a bum knee. Nope. Not as fast as I move. Has it slowed me down? No, but it still hurts.
I love this song quote by Waxahachie, ” I awkwardly move at the speed of light” and that is so me when I’m working. And in any social situations, every situation…what am I saying. I may run away faster than you can say Hello.
“You say Hello and I say Goodbye” woops! it’s the other way around in that Beatles song.
Here is a dumb doodle comic I’m working on. I think I can do more with half head. Like make doodles where they are trying real hard to get out there. This is one of them. I love this because it’s a bit me. If there is someone I admire or want in my life, no matter how hard it is for me to speak up, I’ll make the effort however way I can..usually it’s with gifts, doodles, and just awkwardly trying to speak and think of things that they would like when I see them…yep.
After the Rain, A Foggy Moon
It was a rainy day Saturday, followed by the densest foggy night. And I felt a sense of foreboding, and also an awakening perhaps, the way fog always seems to be conveyed in books and films. And to witness the full moon under that fog was beautiful! It would wisp in and out of the fog!
But really, this is about Japanese Maples because come on…they’re brilliant at letting go their leaves, so majestically and beautifully. Tellement triste, pourtant tellement beau. Just as with all endings they be. The lettings be…
I’m so glad I captured them before they were to lay in their slumber until spring!
Letting Go of this Year
Yes, this is the time of year to let go. To look back at the year and reflect. Ahh, reflection…
And I’ve already gotten a new journal! Funny how I just keep on keepin’ on …
Letting go is a hard concept for my stupid little heart. I’ll hold on to something that’s not even mine to begin with. In hopes that what I feel and dream will somehow make it come true.
Fog surrounded me in a swirl of delusional idealizations…the fog lifts. I am struck with the pain that I have not learned anything about life thus far …
And here is a severed hand doodle I haven’t drawn in quite a while. I hold on so tightly that I don’t even realize I’ve gone and ripped my arm off.
My mom sent me this meditation message from an online mediation group she is in and this was in the message. How much it resonates at this time of year.
Or any time really when you’re struggling with remaining or letting go …
How easy it is to say in your mind, how very hard to let the strings of your heart detach and let go… because you know they will break. But you’ve been here before so it’s nothing a mushy heart can’t handle!
There is a sadness at the end of each journal
I go through a lot of journals. Just doodlin’ this and writing crap, jotting down the most obnoxious of thoughts …but this journal took me exactly, almost exactly, as I started it October 15, and here it is December 14th, two months which is quick!. I had a lot of introspection going on, and wasn’t creative, wasn’t putting it out there. Just getting out the messy, good for nothing thoughts out. Oh boy, the endings of things are always messy. The letting go and shedding of skin. I feel that is what is going on in my life right now. The need to curl up into a ball and let the body rest, the mind rest, let go of the sadness that’s been creeping in…
Here is my last page, the last tidbit. And perhaps I will move forward into another journal soon with some insight into love and into life.
I read a quote the other day that struck me and I had to save it and so, wrote it in my final page. Needless to say I ordered the book pronto! It’s from Nick Cave and Sean O’Hagan’s book, Faith, Hope and Carnage. And I believe it is an intimate interview with musician Nick Cave and his wonderful insight on life, grief and love. I can’t wait to read it. My Christmas present to myself.
Here is the full quote:
Love has something to do with the notion of being seen-the opposite of invisibility. The invisible, the unwitnessed, the unacknowledged, the isolated, the lonely-these are the unloved. Loving attention illuminates into the observed world. To truly see someone -anyone- is an act that knowledge’s and forgives our common and imperfect humanity. Love enacts a kind of vigilant perception- whether it is to a partner, a child, a co-worker, a neighbour, a fellow citizen, or any other person one may encounter in this life. Love says softly- I see you. I recognize you. You are human, as I am.
-Nick Cave from Faith , Hope and Carnage
I hope this quote sparks a tenderness into you that illuminates into the holidays, as the holidays are always a way to show how much we love and enjoy each other. While we still have time!
Oh yeah, I get terribly mushy this time of year! And weird. 😉
-CM
Mushmas Brain
I’ve been in a creative slump, it feels like for a couple of months. And just also even writing, ugh, it’s like I have an empty brain. I haven’t been out exploring! Perhaps, been busy getting ready for the holidays, wanting to be more present with my family, trying to work as hard as I can to make it a magical time of year for them.
So here’s just an ordinary, repetitive mush brain. Ordinary repetitive doodle. Because sometimes repetition leads to some form of understanding. Maybe when you see the patterns, you can create a better understanding of what it is that makes creativity an ordinary, but extraordinary way of life. Ahhhhh I’m a mush brain ….
Coffee and Christmas Tree…and Orc?
Just journal doodling on this cold and rainy day …what better doodles than doodles in your journal? Just coffee, cookies and tree in the background..it’s not that great, but sketches are sketches and it could end up something later on if I felt like it. But I’ll go onto something else I presume. …
Holidays are in full swing and you’ve got to keep your wits by drawing orcs and making your friends, co-workers and customers laugh.
Code Mush 