It’s been a while, but I just thought you’d like to know that half heads are on every page of my journal(s) (pretty much). It is the first doodle I draw before unloading the deepest or the dumbest of thoughts. It’s sometimes on the front, the side or the middle of a thought. But it’s the little intimidating man, hiding man. Maybe I should call it hiding man? Shy self? The shy self emerging. Oh well, I’ll just leave it. It’s not necessarily shy, it has just lost its voice due to self- doubt. Self- sabotage. Self- esteem, self -consciousness. It’s every body who feels like they don’t matter. But you DO matter, even if you’ve lost your voice. Or the will to live, or are afraid that everyone hates you because you’re stupid. Just draw a half face (I like half face better) and see if that helps. It helps me a lot.
I go through a lot of journals. Just doodlin’ this and writing crap, jotting down the most obnoxious of thoughts …but this journal took me exactly, almost exactly, as I started it October 15, and here it is December 14th, two months which is quick!. I had a lot of introspection going on, and wasn’t creative, wasn’t putting it out there. Just getting out the messy, good for nothing thoughts out. Oh boy, the endings of things are always messy. The letting go and shedding of skin. I feel that is what is going on in my life right now. The need to curl up into a ball and let the body rest, the mind rest, let go of the sadness that’s been creeping in…
Here is my last page, the last tidbit. And perhaps I will move forward into another journal soon with some insight into love and into life.
Weirdo Birdo quoting Nick Cave
I read a quote the other day that struck me and I had to save it and so, wrote it in my final page. Needless to say I ordered the book pronto! It’s from Nick Cave and Sean O’Hagan’s book, Faith, Hope and Carnage. And I believe it is an intimate interview with musician Nick Cave and his wonderful insight on life, grief and love. I can’t wait to read it. My Christmas present to myself.
Here is the full quote:
Love has something to do with the notion of being seen-the opposite of invisibility. The invisible, the unwitnessed, the unacknowledged, the isolated, the lonely-these are the unloved. Loving attention illuminates into the observed world. To truly see someone -anyone- is an act that knowledge’s and forgives our common and imperfect humanity. Love enacts a kind of vigilant perception- whether it is to a partner, a child, a co-worker, a neighbour, a fellow citizen, or any other person one may encounter in this life. Love says softly- I see you. I recognize you. You are human, as I am.
-Nick Cave from Faith , Hope and Carnage
I hope this quote sparks a tenderness into you that illuminates into the holidays, as the holidays are always a way to show how much we love and enjoy each other. While we still have time!
Oh yeah, I get terribly mushy this time of year! And weird. 😉
COFFEE…JOURNAL…refreshing isn’t it? Well, I thought so, that’s why I posted this for Illustration Friday’s word for the week.
Sometimes that’s all I need to start the day off right! A few words of thought and a few sips of enlightenment… I mean, coffee. The elixir of enlightenment. Well, some would say the elixir of irritable bowels and just plain irritable-ness! But I like that moment of “ahhh..” from my first sip.
Code Mush 