The audacity! The ridiculousness! And it’s migration season so it isn’t that far fetched…
a bird takes a quick break to lather in your coffee before it heads down south for the winter…
“Don’t mind if I do!”
I do love this season, the preparation for winter that every animal makes, especially birds, but also the monarch butterfly makes it’s yearly journey too. And I’m on a journey, we’re all on a journey of some sort. On this great hunk of rock. Even though some days I feel my journey is spiralling me into a panic attack. aAAAh!
Better lather in your coffee too and watch the birds!!!
So this week I did something out of my comfort zone, I fully emerged from the shell. I won’t give you the details! Nope, but I’m not really disappointed that I didn’t get the job (oh okay so it was an art teacher job for an elementary school). I am just surprised I even went for it…and bombed with my lack of experience and communication. I don’t know how to talk at all ..and I sound like a buffoon! It’s true. I couldn’t sleep because I kept replaying what I said…ugh it was embarrassing. No wonder I never got a call back…
It’s okay, back to my shell. Until I feel compelled again to be ambitious.
I can’t mask my awkward personality. It will not fly in a classroom. Students will see it as a weakness and run all over me. And I can see that’s exactly what this principle was thinking too.
Time to learn to be bold and brave and all that crap that you hear from motivational speakers.
Well, timing was not exactly right but I think the wheels are in motion. I didn’t die from humiliation and intimidation. And it’s sad to be this scared of people and life at this age of life. It really is …now to sulk and be a loser again.
Leave it to me to write ridiculous birdo haikus. But it literally just matches the doodle, so there you go.
I am on vacation this week, not wanting to celebrate the 4th at all, strictly angry with our country so why bother…
But swimming is a particular favorite past time of mine, so I will do some of that whilst protesting in the streets! Swimming in betweens…I was trying to be poetic. Why does anger and rage bring the rhythm out in me ? I’ve been dancing a lot too.
Just stick to your dumb doodles there, please..we don’t want to see any dancing, or poetry.
I found about 6 or 7 feathers on my walkabout this morning. The spirits walking beside me on my path? It was special to see, and hard not to think it a coincidence.
Have some wonderment!
Feathers!
I’ll seek some wonderment today, and today I did not bring my camera. But that’s okay, I do think I try much harder to find picture worthy pieces than actually enjoying the world around me.
I was enjoying the birds bathing in the creek. I walked the little edge of the creek for rocks to skip, and slowed my roll a bit.
Weirdo birdo bathing in the creek
I couldn’t help but feel better. I have been soaking in all the terrible news and not exactly sure what to do. It’s hard not to feel helpless right now, and to also feel like I’m from another planet! That this is not earth or earth has been taken over by evil humanoids…probably the later.
But still how?? How is all this happening??
Next Mush episode: Earth taken over my Evil Humanoids
Sounds like an Onion article… but the world is stranger than fiction actually!!
Which reminds me of an album by Bad Religion. And I don’t know, punk music sounds like an equally viable way to let out the frustration I feel about the world right now, but also merry walkabouts with birds and feathers too. I may blast the music later. Roll down the windows of my car this evening and let the whole neighborhood hear” f**k Armageddon this is hell! ” Which actually isn’t on that album but does feel like we’re living in hell times. Which then reminds me of a song by Dead Kennedy’s “Hellnation” so maybe I’ll just add that song too. All the protest songs I’ve been listening to all month!
Ugh, calming merry wonderment has turned into rage against the world! GGGGGRRRRR
We must seek wonderment though, must seek wonderment though ….must seek…ugh
Because that’s what you want floating in your coffee.
And by the way, how large does this coffee cup have to be in order for a heron to fit in it? If we were really using actual scales and if it were real?
I need to work on my heron doodles.
He’s really got a penchant for the black bubbling brew…
Of course I would incorporate a heron in my birthday card this year. I wouldn’t expect anything else. Or anything more..
Let me tell you, the year went by fast yet I grew like it was decades ago and I mean I grew tremendously. In ways I didn’t think I could. It almost feels a mourning phase, or something. So many shedding and letting go of the old versions of myself…
First letting go of the life I wanted when I was married. That in itself was a shattering death blow. So many mistakes I had to confront, so much accountability I had to accept..and we divorced two years ago. But the grief had hit me hardest this year. Because I had to face myself. I had to look at my kids and see the pain I caused and the new routines, not wanting to accept it..the wall that’s been built knowing there is a separate life they lead wth their Dad I do not share. It hurts, I want to be there to share it. But I relish when they return and tell me the things they did and the relationship with their Dad is stronger and more secure because he’s happier..that’s all that matters. That something good did come out of the mess we made.
But sometimes the tears just flow, the emotions just can’t be contained anymore. I hope for the best every day. His birthday is the day after mine and I’m so used to not really caring about mine but celebrating his. So I still do but quietly. And I’ll get to hope that it’s better. That he’s better and I didn’t ruin his life.
I didn’t ruin everyone’s life. I hope everything gets better. Too much pain in this world and I sometimes take it in too much… ugh.
Well it better be a good year. More weirdo birdos. More mushy doodles. More killer playlists..maybe a social life ? Hah, I’m good being obscure. The quiet unassuming mushiest person is fine. I’m happiest that way.
Code Mush 