Blobs in journal.
I feel like a blob lately. Honestly writing seems too much for this blob lately, so just half assed doodles will do.
Blobs on Blog cont.
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Tag Archives: journaling
There is a sadness at the end of each journal
I go through a lot of journals. Just doodlin’ this and writing crap, jotting down the most obnoxious of thoughts …but this journal took me exactly, almost exactly, as I started it October 15, and here it is December 14th, two months which is quick!. I had a lot of introspection going on, and wasn’t creative, wasn’t putting it out there. Just getting out the messy, good for nothing thoughts out. Oh boy, the endings of things are always messy. The letting go and shedding of skin. I feel that is what is going on in my life right now. The need to curl up into a ball and let the body rest, the mind rest, let go of the sadness that’s been creeping in…
Here is my last page, the last tidbit. And perhaps I will move forward into another journal soon with some insight into love and into life.
I read a quote the other day that struck me and I had to save it and so, wrote it in my final page. Needless to say I ordered the book pronto! It’s from Nick Cave and Sean O’Hagan’s book, Faith, Hope and Carnage. And I believe it is an intimate interview with musician Nick Cave and his wonderful insight on life, grief and love. I can’t wait to read it. My Christmas present to myself.
Here is the full quote:
Love has something to do with the notion of being seen-the opposite of invisibility. The invisible, the unwitnessed, the unacknowledged, the isolated, the lonely-these are the unloved. Loving attention illuminates into the observed world. To truly see someone -anyone- is an act that knowledge’s and forgives our common and imperfect humanity. Love enacts a kind of vigilant perception- whether it is to a partner, a child, a co-worker, a neighbour, a fellow citizen, or any other person one may encounter in this life. Love says softly- I see you. I recognize you. You are human, as I am.
-Nick Cave from Faith , Hope and Carnage
I hope this quote sparks a tenderness into you that illuminates into the holidays, as the holidays are always a way to show how much we love and enjoy each other. While we still have time!
Oh yeah, I get terribly mushy this time of year! And weird. 😉
-CM
Coffee and Christmas Tree…and Orc?
Just journal doodling on this cold and rainy day …what better doodles than doodles in your journal? Just coffee, cookies and tree in the background..it’s not that great, but sketches are sketches and it could end up something later on if I felt like it. But I’ll go onto something else I presume. …
Holidays are in full swing and you’ve got to keep your wits by drawing orcs and making your friends, co-workers and customers laugh.
Half Head Holding Caffeinated Sustenance
Slowly but surely I will rise, be able to speak but as it is I am a half head and lack the voice. The voice it isn’t there, must, need to find it authentically!
Coffee do your thang. A jittered jumble of jabbered words perhaps, well it’s a start. Finding authentic voice through mumbled mush. Morsh.
Goodnight.
CM
Time for Mush Coffee
The Elixir of Enlightenment! Or Crapulence. Well, we all know what happens when we drink too much coffee so…more like Crapulence than Revelations…but one could have Revelations in Crapulence too. It’s all in perspectives…
I’ve been in a coffee mug mode lately, and in this mode I keep seeking enlightenment in some way…in these small moments of sipping hot bean liquids. Sometimes matcha latte if I want to spice things up a bit…
But I grab my journal and my mug, sip sip, write write, scribble scribble, dribble dribble. It’s not the summer of pasta anymore but the summer of mush coffee. The summer of Enlightenment! Sounds more philosophical…what it really is is sitting on my ass drinking coffee and writing terrible things about myself. But I’m getting somewhere.
Hey Everybody
This time of year is great! stressful, busy, depressing at times, but great. And I like to reflect back in my journal and read the Year in Review from the Writings of a Pathetic Loser. And I’ve noticed that I’ve gotten better at not putting myself down…wow…well, for humourous purposes only..
I contribute that to finally taking an antidepressant. This is something I rarely talk about, and I won’t because I feel I’ll cheapen the understanding and caring that I feel for anyone who is going through mental health. Because I think I always have a humorous tone to my ramblings and I just won’t go into it. I’m glad I did, my life was Topsy Turvy. My parenting skills were Shakey, my marriage a Shamble, my direction and goals, my life in general Shakey. I couldn’t grasp it all and I feel things are finally a bit clearer. I can work on being a better parent and that’s ultimately my goal to be there for my kids! To help them grow into healthy adults. To be there for my family, but also to be there for myself.
Maybe next year I’ll finally get it altogether. But I won’t beat myself up that it’s taken me 40 years to get to where I need to be.
Code Mush 