Tag Archives: doodle

Articulated Mess

I wish I had a voice as beautiful as the birds, just to be that confident. They sing as loudly as possible, communicate as loudly and as articulately to their loves. Why is it so hard for me? And why do I look like a

CREEP…a CREEPY weirdo!!!! UGH. I’m living in mortification at something that I did because, let’s face it. I don’t know how to talk to people. At this age, it’s almost like I’m disabled in a way. A social misfit! A tangled up big ol’ articulated mess. I promise I am smart, an intelligent being of some kind…so what’s wrong with me?

People.

I’m more of an ostrich than a beautiful song bird, awkward and uncomfortable in every way possible. And there’s a slight chance I could charge after you, I am a bit intimidating…

And this is the same person who decided to make a bunch of origami hearts for everyone. I don’t think it’s possible to be that confident and that scared at the same time! If you’re wondering how the hearts went, it went really well. But this morning I came into work and they were gone. So someone decided that they were unnecessary. Oh well, that’s why I made two baskets!!! Onto the second basket….

Cooking up a Valentine’s Origami Surprise

Of course I always do some code mushy Valentine’s stuff. Making the untypical Valentine, this year I am doing origami. The crane life is a life of whimsy and I love how whimscial Origami is. So of course, hearts!

I think I liked them better without the smiley face

Each one has a message inside. Nothing cliche Valentine messages, but I’m going to leave them at the service counter at work. This will be sort of my first attempt at publicly presenting my code mush (besides the big wide web!). I usually deliver personal messages or cards to people. Or leave my magazines in the break room (haven’t done those in years but I think they were too ridiculous and I was running out of ideas ). I will not at all be disappointed if it’s received with weird glances. I hope it makes everyone weird and uncomfortable! which is how I feel 95% of the time.

Good Morning, coffee

Floating in the clouds, this coffee is. To wake you up slowly on a chilly Saturday morn.

As I sat silently watching the sun rise, I noticed just how precious and fleeting life is. I wondered why I worry about anything. In a few months, in a year from now, all the things that bothered me will have been washed away in memories. And I’ll laugh or smile and see I was just growing a little bit more each day. To reach the Pinnacle of wisdom that usually transpires when you grow.

Evening Coffee

Tiny doodle drawings in your journal.

Sipping coffee in the evening, what will happen? A panic attack in the middle of the night? Sounds like it!

I drink coffee at night a lot since I work one night shift a week. It’s a weird middle of the week night shift that my body has grown accustomed to. It’s a night where panic ensues, constantly, a race against time. And as I get older I hear more of my bones creaking and moaning more as I race against the clock. I slipped on a blueberry last year and my knee has never been the same. I fear the doctor to tell me it’s nerve or permanent damage…I can’t be having a bum knee. Nope. Not as fast as I move. Has it slowed me down? No, but it still hurts.

I love this song quote by Waxahachie, ” I awkwardly move at the speed of light” and that is so me when I’m working. And in any social situations, every situation…what am I saying. I may run away faster than you can say Hello.

“You say Hello and I say Goodbye” woops! it’s the other way around in that Beatles song.

Here is a dumb doodle comic I’m working on. I think I can do more with half head. Like make doodles where they are trying real hard to get out there. This is one of them. I love this because it’s a bit me. If there is someone I admire or want in my life, no matter how hard it is for me to speak up, I’ll make the effort however way I can..usually it’s with gifts, doodles, and just awkwardly trying to speak and think of things that they would like when I see them…yep.

Half head comic

Letting Go of this Year

Yes, this is the time of year to let go.  To look back at the year and reflect. Ahh, reflection…

And I’ve already gotten a new journal! Funny how I just keep on keepin’ on …

Letting go is a hard concept for my stupid little heart. I’ll hold on to something that’s not even mine to begin with. In hopes that what I feel and dream will somehow make it come true.

Fog surrounded me in a swirl of delusional idealizations…the fog lifts. I am struck with the pain that I have not learned anything about life thus far …

And here is a severed hand doodle I haven’t drawn in quite a while. I hold on so tightly that I don’t even realize I’ve gone and ripped my arm off.

My mom sent me this meditation message from an online mediation group she is in and this was in the message. How much it resonates at this time of year.

Or any time really when you’re struggling with remaining or letting go …

How easy it is to say in your mind, how very hard to let the strings of your heart detach and let go… because you know they will break. But you’ve been here before so it’s nothing a mushy heart can’t handle!