Leave it to me to write ridiculous birdo haikus. But it literally just matches the doodle, so there you go.
I am on vacation this week, not wanting to celebrate the 4th at all, strictly angry with our country so why bother…
But swimming is a particular favorite past time of mine, so I will do some of that whilst protesting in the streets! Swimming in betweens…I was trying to be poetic. Why does anger and rage bring the rhythm out in me ? I’ve been dancing a lot too.
Just stick to your dumb doodles there, please..we don’t want to see any dancing, or poetry.
I found about 6 or 7 feathers on my walkabout this morning. The spirits walking beside me on my path? It was special to see, and hard not to think it a coincidence.
Have some wonderment!
Feathers!
I’ll seek some wonderment today, and today I did not bring my camera. But that’s okay, I do think I try much harder to find picture worthy pieces than actually enjoying the world around me.
I was enjoying the birds bathing in the creek. I walked the little edge of the creek for rocks to skip, and slowed my roll a bit.
Weirdo birdo bathing in the creek
I couldn’t help but feel better. I have been soaking in all the terrible news and not exactly sure what to do. It’s hard not to feel helpless right now, and to also feel like I’m from another planet! That this is not earth or earth has been taken over by evil humanoids…probably the later.
But still how?? How is all this happening??
Next Mush episode: Earth taken over my Evil Humanoids
Sounds like an Onion article… but the world is stranger than fiction actually!!
Which reminds me of an album by Bad Religion. And I don’t know, punk music sounds like an equally viable way to let out the frustration I feel about the world right now, but also merry walkabouts with birds and feathers too. I may blast the music later. Roll down the windows of my car this evening and let the whole neighborhood hear” f**k Armageddon this is hell! ” Which actually isn’t on that album but does feel like we’re living in hell times. Which then reminds me of a song by Dead Kennedy’s “Hellnation” so maybe I’ll just add that song too. All the protest songs I’ve been listening to all month!
Ugh, calming merry wonderment has turned into rage against the world! GGGGGRRRRR
We must seek wonderment though, must seek wonderment though ….must seek…ugh
Oh and here’s June’s playlist, even though June is almost over. It took me a whole month to finish. It started off with lots of protest type songs, then finished off melancholy as is my usual way.
And if you don’t know who Octo-Dude is he’s a wandering doodle that sometimes pops up on the blog randomly.
Here’s what he normally looks like:
He’s looking totally gnarly!! If I didn’t suspect that his hair piece is just a floating piece of mucky seaweed…
But whatever, I won’t discriminate! You do your ‘do however makes you feel your best. And I admit it makes him look less Putin like! Hahaha..which is much much better!
Because that’s what you want floating in your coffee.
And by the way, how large does this coffee cup have to be in order for a heron to fit in it? If we were really using actual scales and if it were real?
I need to work on my heron doodles.
He’s really got a penchant for the black bubbling brew…
Of course I would incorporate a heron in my birthday card this year. I wouldn’t expect anything else. Or anything more..
Let me tell you, the year went by fast yet I grew like it was decades ago and I mean I grew tremendously. In ways I didn’t think I could. It almost feels a mourning phase, or something. So many shedding and letting go of the old versions of myself…
First letting go of the life I wanted when I was married. That in itself was a shattering death blow. So many mistakes I had to confront, so much accountability I had to accept..and we divorced two years ago. But the grief had hit me hardest this year. Because I had to face myself. I had to look at my kids and see the pain I caused and the new routines, not wanting to accept it..the wall that’s been built knowing there is a separate life they lead wth their Dad I do not share. It hurts, I want to be there to share it. But I relish when they return and tell me the things they did and the relationship with their Dad is stronger and more secure because he’s happier..that’s all that matters. That something good did come out of the mess we made.
But sometimes the tears just flow, the emotions just can’t be contained anymore. I hope for the best every day. His birthday is the day after mine and I’m so used to not really caring about mine but celebrating his. So I still do but quietly. And I’ll get to hope that it’s better. That he’s better and I didn’t ruin his life.
I didn’t ruin everyone’s life. I hope everything gets better. Too much pain in this world and I sometimes take it in too much… ugh.
Well it better be a good year. More weirdo birdos. More mushy doodles. More killer playlists..maybe a social life ? Hah, I’m good being obscure. The quiet unassuming mushiest person is fine. I’m happiest that way.
Here are some doodles from Sunday, because Mother’s Day was actually great. I spent time with family, and especially my boys. We picked dew berries, walked the same roads I would walk as a kid, I took in all the changes because whoa…life. It wasn’t as guilt ridden as I was dreading. There were no grand gestures or big dinners/brunch or anything, just the kind of quiet, slow kind of day that I can soak in everything without rushing, doing, trying so hard and my kids actually didn’t mind me making them do the things! We unplugged so there are no pictures. But we need to unplug and connect with people around us. It’s imperative!! Do it now!!! I wish, I wish I could go back to many years from now and relive my life and not make the mistakes that I had made but as the song goes,
“I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger”
I live with that on my mind a lot. But it’s all part of something else, some other plan,
I don’t really like these doodles, the bird is too big and the little blobs look like hamsters to me. Oh well, here you go. I normally feel mushy and want to write something sweet but I don’t feel like it. I feel sort of guilty, this holiday is set out for moms which is great! but I don’t feel like I’m that great of a mom to deserve it. Or that great of a daughter to my mom either. I feel I should be doing more, and I don’t because I’m tired or stressed or guilty for not doing everything. Ugh
Code Mush 