Tag Archives: life

Birdo Fly!

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Are you ready to fly, yet?

So this week I did something out of my comfort zone, I fully emerged from the shell. I won’t give you the details! Nope, but I’m not really disappointed that I didn’t get the job (oh okay so it was an art teacher job for an elementary school). I am just surprised I even went for it…and bombed with my lack of experience and communication. I don’t know how to talk at all ..and I sound like a buffoon! It’s true. I couldn’t sleep because I kept replaying what I said…ugh it was embarrassing. No wonder I never got a call back…

It’s okay, back to my shell. Until I feel compelled again to be ambitious.

I can’t mask my awkward personality.  It will not fly in a classroom. Students will see it as a weakness and run all over me. And I can see that’s exactly what this principle was thinking too.

Time to learn to be bold and brave and all that crap that you hear from motivational speakers.

Well, timing was not exactly right but I think the wheels are in motion. I didn’t die from humiliation and intimidation. And it’s sad to be this scared of people and life at this age of life. It really is …now to sulk and be a loser again.

Craptacular.

Where is my brain? It’s mushed

May You Change

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Nature has transformed since the dreary, solemn winter photos that I took in January/February. Of chilly puddles and barren trees? You must remember I posted 5,000 photos of the stuff. It’s quite a sight to witness nature’s seasons. We are so accustomed to the changes we may not really notice it. But on these walkabouts there is always something changing. Even the same fungi have changed! EVEN I HAVE CHANGED. It’s all a part of the seasons of life, even we must take part in them. We all must learn change.

Just look at all the light! and the green

DRAGONFLIES! and more green!

Okay, that’s enough for now. I’ll post some more dragonflies and the great blue heron I caught down at the creek. But for another day perhaps.

Windy Weirdo

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The birds have been at it since they woke me up this morning. Not to mention the gusty wind!”

I saw many along my walking path today. Among other birds and people, as it was a perfect sunny day. The wind would pick up and the occasional tree branch fell in my path. I felt it was time to scurry along, as the gusts were picking up exponentially. I found a perfect quote to keep me pondering. Walking is definitely for thinking. And sitting and thinking usually makes me sit around second guessing myself, overthinking what I said and how it would be interpreted to some. And all weekend I wanted to delete my website/blog, and burn my writings. Just forget it. Then I would say, but wait, that is the voice of another person who didn’t believe in me. I believe in myself now! I am not a piece of trash. But anyway, I found this quote:

“Walking, I am listening to a deeper way. Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say. Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands.” -Linda Hogan (b. 1947) Native American Writer

I wish I had slowed down a little bit more, but as the wind was gusty and I was worried about all the falling limbs, I should have noticed it more. What were the limbs saying to me? WATCH OUT. A warning from my ancestors? I think it’s just the wind breaking the dormant limbs, if you’re a realist. No, it’s just be cautious. It’s okay to be cautious. And to second guess yourself, until you believe in yourself. Until you find your voice. All those that walk beside me, that I cannot see are holding me close and letting me know that I AM Love, and that I can go on spreading that love through my art as long as I know that it comes deep within me and not outwardly, for acceptance or validation. Because anything that comes from the heart is meant to blow away in the wind and catch a falling limb anyway. Love is giving it away all the time to everyone, spirit or living, it is not to be coveted at all.

Blooming Heads

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Spring time needs a Bloom Head

I’ve been away from the blog, blooming up some ridiculous heads! But not really, just hustling and bustling…at the speed of a slug …

I always come back to this head with the flower growing from its head. To me it’s like the light bulb moment in the brain, or rather it’s a brain growing, transforming thoughts and creative processes…but also it looks like a decomposing head, so some sort of regrowth, the dichotomy of life and death. Cause this guy looks a little zombified…

and I knew I was going to make a new word today…zombified…

I do hope you’re enjoying Spring in your area…Texas is beautiful this time of year with the wildflowers a growin’ (Bluebonnets ring a bell?) What are some wildflowers that grow in your area? I may get out and do some sketches plein air..those are always fun. Although nothing short of a wiggly little flower and some grass, but what the hell.

Grow

And here is the first Bloom Head, well I called it Grow back then…this has to be from 2010. Now, he looks a little more livelier. And the scan made it blurry and I really don’t know if I have the original drawing anymore. Growth is often blurry then!