Let’s ditch the half face theme for just a moment with a random 3/4 face! (Shrieks of screams!)
This 3/4 Face doesn’t even look like it has thoughts or a voice! Vapid Face!!
I don’t even want to know what they’re thinking. Thinking about bird poop or something. Nothing substantial. The half heads are such strong thinkers, so deep and existential…3/4 face what can you say about them? I hope they don’t show up randomly again, we may find out what they’re actually thinking and saying out loud!
“Poops poops bird poops.”
Maybe they’re just nervous. Half Heads can hide, but when you’re just a little exposed oh boy, sometimes it just comes out…like bird poop. Fast and flying around ready to smack somebody in the face!!
This time of year is great! stressful, busy, depressing at times, but great. And I like to reflect back in my journal and read the Year in Review from the Writings of a Pathetic Loser. And I’ve noticed that I’ve gotten better at not putting myself down…wow…well, for humourous purposes only..
I contribute that to finally taking an antidepressant. This is something I rarely talk about, and I won’t because I feel I’ll cheapen the understanding and caring that I feel for anyone who is going through mental health. Because I think I always have a humorous tone to my ramblings and I just won’t go into it. I’m glad I did, my life was Topsy Turvy. My parenting skills were Shakey, my marriage a Shamble, my direction and goals, my life in general Shakey. I couldn’t grasp it all and I feel things are finally a bit clearer. I can work on being a better parent and that’s ultimately my goal to be there for my kids! To help them grow into healthy adults. To be there for my family, but also to be there for myself.
Maybe next year I’ll finally get it altogether. But I won’t beat myself up that it’s taken me 40 years to get to where I need to be.
And getting the oil changes, inspection and tire rotation done (so haven’t been completely lazy. Plus I’m doing laundry continually for the rest of my life so I could never be lazy).
Halloween costumes are set, Jack Skelington and Luigi. They can’t change their minds and the costumes fit so nothing to get bent out of shape over. And then later this evening we’ll make our way to the fair! Doing all the Fall things.
And also I’ve been absent from the wee ol’ blog page, sorry about that. The school year has started and I’ve been busy plus also a slug? If that’s possible. A boot scootin’ slug, man. Going through many changes and lack of description over those details remains a mystery to you all…and to me as well as I still remain committed to NOT changing or evolving ever. But events have forced me to, so I’d rather not say…ugh just Ugh. UUUUGGGGHHHH
Can you call it a portrait if it’s just a drawing of an imaginary person? probably not, but in my mind I was thinking of an old oval portrait that would hang on a wall, so maybe just call it a drawing of a portrait on a wall. What should her name be? Ms. Dallinsworth? that just popped in my head. Ms. as we don’t care, as if that should define her. We just don’t know her first name because she likes to be called by her last name to strangers who don’t know her! Maybe it’s D’arcy Dallinsworth and she would like you to not know her first name, okay? you got it? But now that you do know her first name, you must be hit on the head really hard, become unconscious and forget about this Ms. D’arcy Dallinsworth, this portrait on an unknown, imaginary woman! BONK!!
I just realized she kind of resembles Angela Lansbury, if she were in disguise as a brunette. Well well well…we’re onto something about this, this Ms. Dallinsworth aren’t we? Who are you?? BONK!!!
I made a vegan pizza! Yes, with some already made vegan pizza crust I bought from the store, added some sauce, arugula and spinach, and fake mozzarella. I had a hard time getting over the fake mozzarella as I am a lover of cheese. ooey, gooey mozzarella really does make a pizza so it was hard to overcome the lack of gooeyness this pizza had. Taste and texture wise just bleh. I am trying. I have gone vegan before in my teenage years, but there were not as many options available for plant based items like there are now. and I was kind of unhealthy in weight, under weight that is, and was very self conscious about my weight (go figure, a self conscious nut job). I really am not trying to lose weight as I am really just wanting to feel better. Feel better about my self image (that “cinnamon roll for my fat rolls” put downs have got to go), have more energy and keep up with my kids. I’ve always loved cooking with veggies because of my grandmother and my father who always helped me learn to cook my own food. If I were going to be vegan I had to learn to make it myself, since no one would join the vegan bandwagon with me back then. So I bestow a heaping veggie gratitude (and mush love) to them. They have passed on, and they still continue to guide me through life with what they’ve taught me. So I must keep on vegging on, and hope that this will instill some veggie love to my kids. I do realize I have enabled their bad habits and I want to be better. It’s hard as a working mom, a tired and stressed mom, and just overall invisible self to come out and teach others, how to live and how to be a good human when I think of myself as barely a person. It’s sad, but if you knew me you would say “such a quiet, reserved person..she really could blend into the walls that one.” and it’s sad but a lot of people prefer me to be that way. Or just used to it, because they can kind of make up their own narrative about me, so they see me as how they would like me to be. And combined with being a super ultra people pleasing prat, I just don’t know how to defend my true honest self without even knowing or how to aim to show that to anyone. So I guess this is my way of coming out of my shell, through words, art and…well, here I am. Ta da…
Code Mush 