Tag Archives: awkward

Birdo Fly!

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Are you ready to fly, yet?

So this week I did something out of my comfort zone, I fully emerged from the shell. I won’t give you the details! Nope, but I’m not really disappointed that I didn’t get the job (oh okay so it was an art teacher job for an elementary school). I am just surprised I even went for it…and bombed with my lack of experience and communication. I don’t know how to talk at all ..and I sound like a buffoon! It’s true. I couldn’t sleep because I kept replaying what I said…ugh it was embarrassing. No wonder I never got a call back…

It’s okay, back to my shell. Until I feel compelled again to be ambitious.

I can’t mask my awkward personality.  It will not fly in a classroom. Students will see it as a weakness and run all over me. And I can see that’s exactly what this principle was thinking too.

Time to learn to be bold and brave and all that crap that you hear from motivational speakers.

Well, timing was not exactly right but I think the wheels are in motion. I didn’t die from humiliation and intimidation. And it’s sad to be this scared of people and life at this age of life. It really is …now to sulk and be a loser again.

Craptacular.

Where is my brain? It’s mushed

Articulated Mess

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I wish I had a voice as beautiful as the birds, just to be that confident. They sing as loudly as possible, communicate as loudly and as articulately to their loves. Why is it so hard for me? And why do I look like a

CREEP…a CREEPY weirdo!!!! UGH. I’m living in mortification at something that I did because, let’s face it. I don’t know how to talk to people. At this age, it’s almost like I’m disabled in a way. A social misfit! A tangled up big ol’ articulated mess. I promise I am smart, an intelligent being of some kind…so what’s wrong with me?

People.

I’m more of an ostrich than a beautiful song bird, awkward and uncomfortable in every way possible. And there’s a slight chance I could charge after you, I am a bit intimidating…

And this is the same person who decided to make a bunch of origami hearts for everyone. I don’t think it’s possible to be that confident and that scared at the same time! If you’re wondering how the hearts went, it went really well. But this morning I came into work and they were gone. So someone decided that they were unnecessary. Oh well, that’s why I made two baskets!!! Onto the second basket….

Shy Birdo

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Shy Birdo

Saying hi,

And sending love from my little family’s nest to your little family’s nest.

What is love if not wishing the very best for everyone and holding them in your heart for always, even if they’re not here? Even if they’ll never witness it? Even if it’s a little weird and ridiculous…I guess, let it get weird, and show off your goofy, weirdo smile…

Let it be as awkward as possible!

That would be weirdo birdo!

Oh no, more birds!

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I’m reaching out my wing to you

I extend a wing out to you in hopes I can wrap you up and keep you safe! Mushy wings!

Crazy lady and birds. It’s always a crazy lady and something. Cats, or just plain crazy. I’ve hit the deep end. I’m filling up my new journal everyday with a birdo or two. And romantic thoughts of nature and life! So you must suffer the onslaughts of one Birdo after another Birdo and so forth until I’ve exhausted my hyper fixation. You’re here, you’ve known this, I am repetitive. There is no linear progression. Just loops and loops of the same mumbo jumbo. And again and again. Ugh, dumbo jumbo more like it.

Half Head with Dumb Brain

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Half head with dumb brain!

Half head with its big dumb brain exposed,  embarrassed and hiding.

I really do hope I come up with some better ideas besides birds, brains, heads, slugs, and turtles. But until then those will be in heavy rotation on the mush site! Sorry, but consistency seems to be therapeutic!!

Awkward square face

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I could go back to the square faces of yesteryear but I should go back to the square faces of yesteryear (I’ll leave a link of those if you’re not familiar with them). But this is just instead of UGH an AWKWARD. I don’t think I like it. He doesn’t look awkward to me, not at all actually, he just looks pensive. Maybe trying to think and form the words out before fumbling with those words. Quite what I do. I think ahead of what I’ll say and not pick up on anything else but that this is what I said and now I’m panicking because you’re saying something I didn’t anticipate. And you’re upset and I didn’t make anything better, ugh. Oops let me just quietly back away. Okay, now it is awkward…now I see where it gets awkward…

The original square face

The original square face was featured in my sketchbook project which I mention in that entry. I didn’t take my time and I am not really thrilled with that sketchbook but I’d do the project again with a little more time and make it more like my blog.