Monthly Archives: December 2022

A Gaseous Revolution

I couldn’t think of anything clever to tag this inner planet diagram that only a 3 year old could love, so I went with gassy, how silly! And because we are about to hit another revolution around this big hot gassy ball (originally typed “bag” for some weird reason), I thought why not start my new journal with some cute, gassy quirks? And if you’re in the Southern United States you are going to feel somewhat gassy here in a day or so, what with all the cabbage and black eye peas you’re about to ingest down your gorge hole. Gorge hole? BLOW IT OUT YOUR GORGE HOLE!!! But I don’t want to think about all the gas I’ll be having, really l will be looking up at the BILLIONS and BILLIONS of hot gassy balls up into the sky, feeling how insignificant everything really is, while someone is lighting up a bunch of fireworks in their back yards, belching out HAPPY NEW YEAR…BURRRRPP… while the sulfurous, colorful, sparkly gases illuminate the sky! OOOOOOHHH…pretty gases.

…and I guess 2023 is a super long ass time to be here Earth…if you think about written history of time, And don’t even go there, go even further back….way back to when everything in the universe was just some big gassy hot stars all exploding and colliding and creating the star stuff that we all are today…we really are pretty gassy too, huh? I mean pretty gas. What is that feeling, when you lie down at night and close your eyes and imagine you’re in space floating all alone in a big black expanse? does anyone imagine that? I used to all the time as a kid, that that was what death was like. just floating, all black, nothing there. whenever I felt that, I would feel like a spec of dust floating in giant space….I could never quite understand what it meant, that an 8 year old would feel that, imagine death like that but I did. Had I seen death before? Rebirth? I wonder…Now when it happens it just feels like the universe is sitting on my chest, and I reckon it is anxiety…

So I would like to wonder, what are your New Year’s traditions where you live? what are the foods that you typically eat on the new year that give you good luck or money or whatever. Do you go out with a group of friends and countdown and kiss your love at midnight? like a romantic movie (when Harry Met Sally is pictured in my mind) or stay at home with family and close friends and shoot fireworks, toast champagne or eat oeuvre d’oeuvres? Anyway, this is the longest bunch of gassy quirks I ever did write.

I wish everyone a safe, adventurous, unexpected and magical New Year. Here is to 2023. and if it is just an ordinary night, I suggest looking up into the night sky and doing some looking up. And if it’s cloudy, that’s water vapor…more gas!!

Hey Everybody

This time of year is great! stressful, busy, depressing at times, but great. And I like to reflect back in my journal and read the Year in Review from the Writings of a Pathetic Loser. And I’ve noticed that I’ve gotten better at not putting myself down…wow…well, for humourous purposes only..

I contribute that to finally taking an antidepressant. This is something I rarely talk about, and I won’t because I feel I’ll cheapen the understanding and caring that I feel for anyone who is going through mental health. Because I think I always have a humorous tone to my ramblings and I just won’t go into it. I’m glad I did, my life was Topsy Turvy. My parenting skills were Shakey, my marriage a Shamble, my direction and goals, my life in general Shakey. I couldn’t grasp it all and I feel things are finally a bit clearer. I can work on being a better parent and that’s ultimately my goal to be there for my kids! To help them grow into healthy adults. To be there for my family, but also to be there for myself.

Maybe next year I’ll finally get it altogether. But I won’t beat myself up that it’s taken me 40 years to get to where I need to be.